On July 4, the United Church of Christ's General Synod passed a resolution in support of equal marriage for all persons regardless of gender. I'm so thrilled and amazed and humbled. I haven't been a "church-goer" in ages and with all the vitriol that seems to have been the Christian norm of late, I hadn't expected to ever be one again -- let alone consider myself a Christian. But I read the UCC's resolution and, more importantly, their members' genuine struggle with this issue. And the good will that they shared with each other, even when they disagreed. And I am hopeful.
The marriage equality resolution (1) affirms equal marriage rights for couples regardless of gender and declares that the government should not interfere with couples regardless of gender who choose to marry and share fully in the rights, responsibilities and commitment of legally recognized marriage; (2)affirms equal access to the basic rights, institutional protections and quality of life conferred by the recognition of marriage, (3) calls for an end to rhetoric that fuels hostility, misunderstanding, fear and hatred expressed toward gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender persons, (4) asks officers of the church to communicate the resolution to local, state and national legislators, urging them to support equal marriage rights, (5) calls upon all settings of the church to engage in serious, respectful and prayerful discussion of the covenantal relationship of marriage and equal marriage rights, (6) calls upon congregations, after prayerful, biblical, theological, and historical study, to consider adopting Wedding Policies that do not discriminate against couples based on gender, and (7) urges congregations and individuals of the UCC to prayerfully consider and support local, state and national legislation to grant equal marriage rights to couples regardless of gender, and to work again legislation, including constitutional amendments, which denies rights to couples based on gender.
I was also interested to read an op-ed piece in the NY Times this week by Stephanie Coontz, The Heterosexual Revolution (reg required). Coontz asserts that it's not the gays and lesbians that have upended traditional marriage; it's the hets that did it to themselves.
Heterosexuals were the upstarts who turned marriage into a voluntary love relationship rather than a mandatory economic and political institution. Heterosexuals were the ones who made procreation voluntary, so that some couples could choose childlessness, and who adopted assisted reproduction so that even couples who could not conceive could become parents. And heterosexuals subverted the long-standing rule that every marriage had to have a husband who played one role in the family and a wife who played a completely different one. Gays and lesbians simply looked at the revolution heterosexuals had wrought and noticed that with its new norms, marriage could work for them, too.
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Giving married women an independent legal existence did not destroy heterosexual marriage. And allowing husbands and wives to construct their marriages around reciprocal duties and negotiated roles - where a wife can choose to be the main breadwinner and a husband can stay home with the children- was an immense boon to many couples. But these changes in the definition and practice of marriage opened the door for gay and lesbian couples to argue that they were now equally qualified to participate in it.
Marriage has been in a constant state of evolution since the dawn of the Stone Age. In the process it has become more flexible, but also more optional. Many people may not like the direction these changes have taken in recent years. But it is simply magical thinking to believe that by banning gay and lesbian marriage, we will turn back the clock.
Coontz is the Director of Public Education for the Council on Contemporary Families. It is a great piece, summarizing the history of marriage and its pivotal moments of change and evolution. Unfortunately, the CCF's site doesn't have a lot of current information about gay and lesbian marriage, but Coontz has a new book out, Marriage, A History: From Obedience to Intimacy or How Love Conquered Marriage that looks quite interesting.